Dad's Obituary

• by Pensacola News Journal
• also at the Herald Palladium
• And here at the funeral home.

And here is the text of what we wrote:

GORDON GILBERT FORMSMA
Gordon Gilbert Formsma, 71, of Pensacola, FL, passed peacefully from this life to the next on Thursday, April 28. Gordon was born in Grand Rapids, MI on January 16, 1940. He and Carolyn Wendelken were married on September 9, 1972 in St. Joseph, MI.

He earned a B.S. in Music Performance, an M.A. in Elementary Education, and an M.A. in Early Childhood Education from Western Michigan University. He taught vocal music and kindergarten in the St. Joseph, MI school system. From 1988 to 1992 he was an Associate Professor of Early Childhood Education for the University of Kentucky Community College system. In 1996 he became Director of Head Start, Escambia County, a job which he did passionately until he retired. Gordon cared deeply for building up families through investing in their children’s lives. Standing 6’ 4” tall, he was affectionately called the “Gentle Giant” by Head Start Staff.

Gordon was an accomplished organist and served a number of congregations throughout his life. While in St. Joseph, MI he became Music Director for St. Paul’s Episcopal Church acting as both choir director and organist. In Pensacola, he took great pride in singing with Christ Church’s choir.

Gordon is survived by his wife, Carolyn Formsma; his daughter, Catherine (Paul) Hoemke and grandson, of Denver, CO; his brother, Gerald (Connie) Formsma of Elkhart, IN; his sister-in-law, Carol Formsma of Coleman, MI; and numerous nieces and nephews.
He was preceded in death by his mother and father, Charlotte and Melvin Formsma, and two brothers, Jay and Duane Formsma.

He was a good, loving husband and father and a gentle man. He will be missed.

A memorial service will be held at Christ Church, Pensacola, FL on Saturday, May 7, 2011 at 11:30 a.m. followed by a reception.

In lieu of flowers, the family suggests memorials be made to Christ Church with the name Formsma on the memo line. These donations will support the parish’s community classical music concert series.

FAQ about my Dad's passing

death notice: Gordon Gilbert Formsma, 71, of Pensacola died Thursday, April 28, 2011. Bayview Fisher-Pou Chapel is in charge of arrangements. UPDATE: Online guest book at their website.

The memorial service will be on May 7 at 11:30 at Christ Church, Pensacola, FL, the church my folks attended for over 10 years, and in which my dad was an avid choir member. (They have a big organ there and use it well.) He will not be buried but will be cremated and placed in a crematorium in Christ Church. This is a great comfort to my mom, who will still be in the area and at that church. No viewing and visitation.

We are asking that folks not send flowers (if you already have, no worries, we just don't have a lot of room for them at my mom's condo) but there is a memorial set up that will go to supporting music at Christ Church. This fund has brought in a number of large names such as Anonymous 4. My dad had hoped to bring in the Raleigh Ringers (hand bell ensemble) but the plans never came together.

A lot of people are asking what happened? How did he get so sick so fast? Well, we are asking that too. It was quick on all accounts, partially because we were not understanding how seriously sick he was until Easter Monday. There is some indication that he might have know all was not well possibly as early as two years ago. We're not sure if he knew and didn't share or didn't realize how serious his condition was then. He became a bit wobbly (bad balance) around the beginning of the year, that turned into a fall somewhere in March. After he was hospitalized after the fall (not for any damage from the fall though) he became more and more anxious and confused. Everyone who saw him said it looked like he had a stroke, though there was no indication that that happened. It was within 30 days of that hospitalization that he passed away peacefully in his sleep.

We are feeling very cared for. We are also absolutely blessed by the number of people coming forward with stories of how my father's life touched and changed theirs for the better. It is truly a testimony to his love music and education that so many people grieve his passing. Thank you again for keeping our family in your prayers.

life after

Returning through Dallas this afternoon, it was all Packers all the time. All the kiosks had switch from "Steelers vs Packers" t-shirts and pins to "Packers win!" trinkets. Most of the talk on the airline from the seat behind me was about the cost of tickets (up to $1000 from the original $150 price by the scalpers) and how they eventually gave up getting their seats and went to a bar. Had a number of very large football type men on board too so coach was a little cramped.

I made it home in time to go visit some friends we normally see on Monday nights, so off I went in my borrowed car since tobo was with a babysitter anyway. I thought we missed the snow but by the time Paul and I were headed home, we had white out conditions. Especially exciting in two vehicles. But we made it back none the worse for wear.

A lot of the trips back to Florida have been to check up on my folks, specifically my mom. My mom had a pretty startling health event at the end of November and is just now recovering from it. She actually was in the hospital and then moved to a rehab place to regain her strength. Part of why I think Paul and I had this nice house drop into our laps is because almost immediately after we moved my mom got sick.

Right now she is doing well. Not 100% but getting stronger every day. She is done with nurses, occupational therapists and physical therapists. She has been released from the rehab place and is home. I've asked her if I can write about it and she's given me permission. That's why it has taken so long for me to mention it publicly.

I feel a bit like we are entering into uncharted territory as we enter life after. Life after nana, life after my mom's retirement, life after her medical event, after. We are all moving forward but for the first time in a long while we are not in the middle of a crisis. We were able to interview with a home help service that they may need in the future during this trip, but they don't need now. We talked about trying to make it easier for them in their condo, but that is very different than the red alert mode we've been living in for the last year. I can only hope that we can do this with our eyes open. I hope we can plan and write out what they want so I can honor that. But really we are all still trying to find our footing so its two steps forward, one step back at times. At least we are making some progress.

Some of you have heard, my grandmother passed away last Sunday. Nana was 96, so it wasn't really a surprise that she got sick after she broke her shoulder in a fall. But it was surprising how fast her health worsened. I happened to be down in Florida for other reasons, but it quickly became finding paperwork and talking to Hospice care. My mom was at the hospital every day. I am so thankful that in a moment of clarity Nana and I were able to talk together and say what needed to be said between us. She passed away in her sleep. I returned to CO as planned, so I wasn't there when it happened.

God really prepared the way for me to be in Florida at the right time. He really has wrapped my family up with love and compassion. We (Paul, Tobo and me) will be traveling down to Florida this week for the funeral. There is so much more I could say about her. She was a kick. She was stubborn as a mule. She was witty and crafty and could tell a good story. And now she's in a better place. God bless you, Nana.

you can learn a lot from your cousin.

Over last few weeks, we were really blessed to have not one but 7 visitors. One of which Tobo continues to look for - Anna. I thought I'd list what he learned during her stay.

From Tobo the Toddler

You can learn a lot from your cousin. You can learn:
- how to give and get a hug
- how to introduce yourself to other people
- how to play chase
- how to play with a baby doll
- how to be gleeful in meeting each other
- how to share?
- how to explore on two feet instead of all fours
- how to roll a ball
- how to sing the ABC song (or at least the first few letters)
- how to shake your booty
- how to cheer for the winning team
- how to do shapes
- how to work the singing dog toy to get the right song
- how to beat on the table like it was a big drum
- how to call things by their proper name - Anna's!
- how to call yourself by your proper name - Baby!

From Tobo the Toddler

update with pics

If I could have one guarantee these days, it would be that I would get a shower each day and an hour to blog. Usually, I have to choose between the two, if I'm very lucky. From the number of updates I've posted, I've decided that hygiene was more of a necessity. :)

What a busy week. We finally got out to church, so that folks could come and ooh and ah over our new arrival. Tobo did so good! he was mesmerized by the music...and bored by the sermon. We left basically in the middle of a meal for him, so he got very squirmy about half way through. I didn't get a chance to get any pictures (he pretty much urp as soon as we got him home) but he wore his new snugglesaurus outfit that Nana got him before she left.

I was approached by the nursery leader person and found out that we can drop him off there whenever we're comfortable about it (no age limit) and they have a whole area dedicated to actual nursing, including rocking chairs and the like. Apparently they have at least 15 newborns so far this year, with 5 more on the way. She also offered to throw a baby shower, which I'm kind of not sure we need. I think we have everything we need, so if they did do this, then I'd probably see if we could give proceeds to a local women's and children's shelter. I'm still a bit shy about public nursing, more because tobo and I are still awkward together. I can't always get a good hold on him, and he isn't always paying attention enough to latch. But as he is getting taller, he's growing into my size so to speak. We normally take a bottle as insurance.

We had a large amount of people stop by this week. A lady from church stop by to officially say hello and welcome Tobo. (different than the nursery person). The F's brought us dinner and brought A, who was born in January. A is about twice the size of Tobo. I'm planning on offering them a bag of 6-9 month clothing since we aren't going to need it for a few months. We also got a chance to chat with her holliness and jim, who happened to be in town for a retreat. It was great to see them and catch up a bit before they flew back to their busy lives. Later that day, grandma and grandpa flew in to town and arrived just as Tobo as playing.


They were here for a very short visit, but it was so great to see them get to know Tobo. We only cried a little bit when they left. While they were here Tobo got his first honest to God bath with water and everything. Bathing was very stressful for mommy.


Tobo eventually calmed down:


At some point Tobo was attached by the hungry caterpillar:


And we finally got a photo with us as a family (I've been trying to do this since Easter.)





With Grandma here, I got enough courage to take the plunge and try the cloth diaper samples we have around here. Tobo liked the fuzzybunz so much he christened it in 30 second of being diapered. We moved quickly on to the bumgenius which lasted about an hour, and then we worked through a few more covers and things before we had nothing left to put on the child and went back to disposables for the evening. We're trying out the prefolds now, which are pretty easy, once I found this tutorial online. I'm going to let Paul get a chance to try out some of these on Tobo and see if we have consensus about what is the best choice. Thanks for the advice and help on this and the bathing. I feel like the pieces are coming together.

I also "worked" from home this week since Tobo, which was a little frustrating. Tobo did not want to be put down and I had to login remotely from the house to a computer at work. I ended slinging him while I worked at the desk, slowly getting the computer on the other end to respond. I've got one other project to work on before May. I'm still not sure how all this will work for May. Paul goes back to work Monday full time, so the theory is Tobo and I will find a routine during the day. (other than me holding him 24/7) Once we know this, we can know plan. (and probably replan)

Lastly, tonight I ran out and bought a humidfier which will hopefully help with our sinus infection/headcolditis. (we've also managed to catch something this week) It is officially adorable:



The only way I would improve this would be if its head alternated while it flapped its wings, opened its beak and quacked.

rock-a-bye

Tonight was a weird night. Sam ate for 4 hours (yep, 4 hours of on off breast-feeding, one of many sessions we had today) then eventually took 1 oz of formula because he was just too tuckered to eat anything else, but still wailing that he was hungry. That was at 9:30 pm. He then yelled whenever I put him down on his back, so we've just been reading LiveJournal and rocking for the last hour and 15 minutes. I can hear him over the monitor in the bedroom and I have no idea if he's going to stay down or not.

[returns from bedroom]

In fact, he did get fussy.The good news is he has no fever, so whatever is bothering him, it's not an infection. I'm predicting this will be a very funky night. In other news, his cord popped off today, so he's officially ours. :D

If you can believe it, Paul's in his second week of staying home. That means he will be back in the office a bit next week, and then back full time by the second week of April. The time has flown. I'm planning on taking my 6 weeks off seriously and not work until May 1st or so. With that being said, I'm feeling pretty good -- well enough to do too much usually. I have had a few nights where I'm just a soppy mess by 9pm. I was surprised to find that I'm now two lbs under the original weigh-in I had at the doctor's office when I first thought I was pregnant. Pretty impressive water retention going on there. My ankles haven't looked this normal in quite some time. I still have a lot to lose, but can't really do to much with diet until after my 6 weeks are up. Exercise is a completely different topic. I just have to build up to it.

We got a few visitors today, one of which came bearing dinner. We also got a number of gifts in the mail today (thanks Grandma, Nana and Chesh!) My mom will be in this weekend, so let the grandparent-adoring begin! :) In the meantime, here are more adorable pictures of our kid:



More at:

Cute Things My Baby Does 3/22/08 10:15 AM

Hello World.

First off, it's been great hearing from everyone. I have read all the emails, but this is the first chance I've had to sit and write anything. Thank you all for your prayers, love and thoughts over this last week. I've been meaning to write about the labor/birth but I thought first I'd give you an update on Sam.

Sam is doing very well at newborn things, such as sleeping, eating, eating while sleeping, pooping, pooping right after getting a clean diaper, pooping when ever Paul picks him up, and the big step forward--breast feeding. He's really a quiet little guy. He only really cries when you change him or take off all his clothes. We haven't tried a bath yet, but that is on today's agenda. [Picture one of reading instructions from a book, while the other does the sponge bathing] We actually have to watch him to make sure he eats regularly, because he's young enough right now that he won't cry if he's hungry...he'll just get more hungry.

He had a weight check yesterday, so he was 5lb, 13.8oz at birth, went down to 5lb 8.5 at his 2 day doc visit, and yesterday at he was up to 5lb 14.5oz. So 6 oz in 2 days is not bad! He's a bit jaundice (his billi level is 14.5) but not bad enough to worry about yet. We're just getting him a lot of indirect sunlight to fix that.

Because he was so small when he was born, he sugar level was kind of low. This was complicated a bit more because he couldn't figure out how to nurse after birth, so he just kept losing body temperature. So the nursing staff and we ended up giving up on the breast feeding and just started feeding him formula. Within 12 hours his temperature and his sugar levels had come up to normal, but he still wasn't interested in nursing. So we've been doing formula since then. Eventually my milk finally came in wednesday, so we are now transitioning to breast milk most of the time with an occasional bottle of formula around 5 am or so. So yes, we're pumping. We ended up renting an electric one for the month. The most recent good news is that Sam actually nursed about 30 minutes at a set last night, so I think we are on our way to establishing that. Once we figured out he was on a 2.5-3 hour feeding cycle, it became a lot easier to work on that last one. The object is to time it so he is just hungry enough to eat, but not frantically starving or so sacked out that he won't even wake up to nurse.

We're doing ok. Lack of sleep is the biggest thing. I haven't had too many freak out moments, though I think we could be smarter at times. :) It's been a lot of laughs, a few tears, lot of wandering around like a zombie, lots of cuddling. Paul has been great, though lack of sleep is really starting to catch up with him. I'm one big emotionally weepy person these days, but I've been told that is normal. Physically, I'm pretty much back up on my swollen feet. I still get a bit worn out if I do too much. I've also been frustrated about the breast-feeding, which is doubled because it has been a bit painful with my milk coming in. I'm also down a nursing bra (due to engorgement) so next week I hope to pick up a new one or three. We've been getting meals from various well-wishers, which has been a lifesaver. I think all three of us would have starved without them.

Well noon feeding is coming up, so I need to sign off. Just wanted to say thank you to wmw and uwee. All the stuff you sent has been wonderfully useful. We got in Sunday and had nothing organized. The box of random stuff and the diaper champ and changing pad have gotten through these first few days. I hope to write again soon.