This started as a reply to comments on the last post and then got long. So:
I should say, we like our doctor, I'm just grousing. Favorite quote of the apt:
"So, he's eating a quart of this stuff a week then? So $100 a month? He won't do that again until he's a teenager."
He did have the brilliant suggestion of leaving multiple plugs (dums) in the crib so he can find them. And that is not a sarcastic brilliant. That was crazy helpful and something so obvious I was kind of kicking myself for not thinking of it. Also, maybe leave a sippy cup of water in there would help as long as it isn't milk.
Frankly, I think tobo is ready to do it (I wasn't before) it's just finding the right manner of going about it. I'm trying to sync my intuition and the advice of my mom, our doctor, many of our friends, and the books I've read. My impression is that when tobo's waking up, he's doing it either from habit or because he's got a problem. Problems usually include a leaky diaper, he's lost all the dums, he's got gas, or, rarely, he's got growing pains/teething problems. If these are really problems is debatable, but that's what's happening. The key is he cries differently depending on if he's up because of habit vs problem. When it's just habit. For the habit crying we haven't been getting him. Sometimes he goes back to sleep. Or he amps up and we go and get him.
He's currently has a sleeping habit of 3 to 4 hour stints, broken by snuggling and eating. So he's down by 7-8, up by 11, up again at 4a and then up again at 7-8 for the day. He's eating quite a lot at 7-8 and at 4, not so much at 11. If we got rid of one of these night time ups, we'd have him sleeping 7 hours at night, which is really quite close to sleeping through the night. He can put himself back to sleep if he's sleep. It's when he's wide awake that we run into trouble.
I wasn't really keen on the putting him in there wide awake and getting him sleep by alternating crying and comforting. Thought that probably was because we did it at night, when we were both frustrated and he actually had a problem. I don't think it's wise for us to try and let him cry it out first at night because a) we're tired and we make rote decisions and b) we make decisions based on frustration and less on a plan. Daytime is better because we've got the upper hand.
In light of that, I think our current plan of attack should be to get him drowsy at nap time and then let him practice putting himself to sleep during one of his naps. The morning would be the easiest because he pretty much asks to sleep then, where the afternoon would be harder because he's convince he doesn't need to sleep.
All of this is to say, I don't want to decide based solely on what others think because I will waffle. If I decide once I'm convinced its the right thing to do, I will stubbornly stick to my guns. And sticking to my guns is what has to happen if this is going to work. So, I am actively seeking your advice because you all have much more experience than I do with little ones BUT I will be weigh what you tell me with what I know about my son before we set a plan of action.
1 comment:
Ha! What's he eating a quart of, jarred foods? Break out the blender! Wait, no, must be formula.
Anna started sleeping through the night about a month after she was home, so about 8 months old. Really through no skill of ours, though; we just woke up one morning and realized we hadn't been up in the night, lucky us.
Habit and problem are different, I agree. No one wants to sleep in pee! If you can tell the difference in cries that's half the battle perhaps. Then again not all problems are created equal and he may think "I'd rather be awake!" is a problem but that doesn't mean it is (sorry Tobo!).
For me when she wakes up in the night is harder than getting her down at first. Even though Anna goes to sleep well she does NOT like to go BACK to sleep alone. But because I am mean and know it will work eventually, after last night's 2:15 wakeup (nightmare maybe?) I eventually turned off the monitor so I could only barely hear the screaming and whaddya know she eventually gave it up and woke up much more chipper than me. But I was just talking w/ a bloggy friend about this and she can't bring herself to let her son cry really at all. Probably I couldn't either if our bedrooms were closer together!
Anyway, I totally hear you on finding your own way and time to decide what will work for YOU. As you say you know him best, and you are the one who will have to follow through on what you decide, not us. So no forcing our ways on you from me.
...Although if you decide you want us to do some kind of tying Odysseus to the mast thing on you to keep you from going back in to him no matter what you say, I guess we will come on over with some rope. :)
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